How Much Can I Spend on Plain Black Shoes?

Matt writes to Put This On:

I must thank your blog for filling a gap in my life I didn’t know existed.  I am now well on my way to dressing like a grown-up.  Due to my new self-awareness I have realized that I don’t own a pair of black shoes.  I also wear sport socks a little too much, but I can easily correct that myself.  With regard to the black shoes though what would you recommend as a good classic style black shoe?

Put This On answers by recommending this plain black dress shoe with a toe cap:

….that costs $325. Seriously. We here at Put That Back would suggest that almost any plain black dress shoe with a toe cap will do:

Like these for $53. Or these:

For $67. Or… hell, just do a search for black leather dress shoe toe cap and you’ll find something you like.

We’re not saying that the shoe they picked isn’t nice. Or that it isn’t a better shoe than these others. But if you could have that shoe or both of these pairs and an iPhone, which would you go for? (And don’t tell me that the shoe they picked can be re-soled and repaired – that description fits the entire set of “shoes.”) If you need some plain black dress shoes, buy some plain black dress shoes.

Besides, fancy dress shoes come from the factory quite stiff  and you won’t know if they fit right until you break them in over the course of a couple months – at which point you won’t be able to return them and you’ll be out $325.

Filed under: Q and Asshole, Shoes | Tags: black shoes, dress, dress shoes, Matt, shoe, sport socks, toe | No Comments »

Backpack

Put This On writes:

This is pretty much the platonic ideal for Backpack.

What, pray tell, could have aroused such passions? This:

Evidently one of the guys is a mountain-climbing Swiss boy in need of a $260 backpack for his next camping trip.

Filed under: Accessories | Tags: Backpack, ideal, one of the guys, platonic ideal, pray, swiss boy | No Comments »

Check those Plaids!

I can’t tell you how glad I am that Put This On linked to an article about how to tell real from fake BURBERRY patterns. Because here’s the thing: the only thing worse than being the sort of douchebag who pays over $100 for a single pair of socks is being the kind of douchebag who later feels cheated because they were the wrong sort of socks.

Filed under: Accessories | Tags: douchebag, pair of socks, sort, thing | No Comments »

Watches for Grownups

The time-traveling copy-cats at Put This On have some recommendations for your timepiece needs, and as always, they’ve got you covered on both fronts. Yes indeed, friends, they aren’t just trying to sell you on a single vision of fashion, they understand that you’re an individual and that you need to express that in one of TWO ways.

Now, some of you might need to pretend you’re in the Army with your watch:

For only $162 (on SALE!), you can have a watch that looks a bit like those ones you got in the dress-up kits your mom bought you when you were eight. Sadly, this one tells time instead of flipping open to reveal a compass.

But don’t forget, you don’t have to be a fake Army-guy to get something out of Put This On. No sir, if you want to dress like your Grandfather who has terrible taste in gaudy watches, you could get this little baby:

How much? Well, get bidding, because at the time of this writing it was a mere $206, but that’s sure to go up as more and more senior citizens learn about this internet thing!

Now, if you were a crazy person – and let’s just accept that you’re not – you might need to go to work and dress like a professional. As silly as that sounds, there are people out there that can’t get away with dressing like a dandy. For those people, we here at Put That Down have come up with a THIRD recommendation:

I know that it’s frightening. This crazy thing is durable, comfortable, attractive, and even reasonably priced: $74. No, it doesn’t let you play dress-up, but it will actually tell the time without making you look like an idiot. And maybe that’s enough.

Filed under: Accessories | Tags: copy cats, Put, single vision, terrible taste, thing, time | No Comments »