Put This On admits that you may only be able to find one day a year to wear these dandy shoes, but suggests that buying these shoes for $244 might be worth it. And you know, if – as in their example – you expect to meet the president on the White House lawn on that one day and the only worthwhile thing you can hope from that situation is that he might like your shoes, well:

1. You need to think about your priorities.
2. You ought to work on your conversational skills.
3. You’d better hope the next guy is more like the current guy than the last guy.

But really, you’re better off giving that money to charity so that you’ll have a shot at impressing the president with your intelligence and compassion. Showing off what a dandy you are may not impress him as much as you might think.

Is it a nice antique watch? I guess.

Is it nicer than having, say, a watch that works for 1/36th of the price? No.

Would wearing this watch lower its value and qualify you as a dumb-ass who doesn’t know the difference between things you collect and things you wear? Definitely.

I thought their site was about wearing clothes, not collecting them.

Anyway, I wonder what the folks at Breitling think about all of this:

BEWARE OF FRAUDS
DO NOT BUY ANY BREITLING PRODUCTS ON THE INTERNET!

99% OF THE BREITLING WATCHES FOR SALE ON THE NET ARE FAKES. THE OTHERS ARE SECOND-HAND WATCHES OR MODELS OF DOUBTFUL ORIGIN.

So, you know, enjoy that.

And they’d appreciate it if you’d buy his ugly $595 eyeglasses. Not that those are the glasses he’s wearing – his were probably $45. But won’t you feel like a star if you spend like a star?

I’d be happy just to hear that you appreciate his many movie themes.

I wanted to get your opinion on the “flash sale” online retailers peddling bargain luxury, such as Gilt.com.  I’m a member there and haven’t had the opportunity or motivation to buy anything, yet.  I’m curious about your take on it.  If the retail prices they list there are correct, it’s certainly full of heavy discounts and plenty of cashmere.  However I’m skeptical if sites like these rate well as good uses of my time in the search for decent clothes.

Not surprisingly, as long as  you’re sending sweet referral lucre their way, the boys at Put This On think it’s perfectly fine for you to save some a few bucks on some pink narrow-toe boat shoes ($108!), a hideous blue plaid vest ($88!) or this mind-blowingly-ugly pair of pants ($72!):

Here’s a promise I’m willing to make to you: I will punch you in the face if I catch you wearing those pants. Repeatedly. Because I care.

Now grow up.

I must thank your blog for filling a gap in my life I didn’t know existed.  I am now well on my way to dressing like a grown-up.  Due to my new self-awareness I have realized that I don’t own a pair of black shoes.  I also wear sport socks a little too much, but I can easily correct that myself.  With regard to the black shoes though what would you recommend as a good classic style black shoe?

Put This On answers by recommending this plain black dress shoe with a toe cap:

….that costs $325. Seriously. We here at Put That Back would suggest that almost any plain black dress shoe with a toe cap will do:

Like these for $53. Or these:

For $67. Or… hell, just do a search for black leather dress shoe toe cap and you’ll find something you like.

We’re not saying that the shoe they picked isn’t nice. Or that it isn’t a better shoe than these others. But if you could have that shoe or both of these pairs and an iPhone, which would you go for? (And don’t tell me that the shoe they picked can be re-soled and repaired – that description fits the entire set of “shoes.”) If you need some plain black dress shoes, buy some plain black dress shoes.

Besides, fancy dress shoes come from the factory quite stiff  and you won’t know if they fit right until you break them in over the course of a couple months – at which point you won’t be able to return them and you’ll be out $325.

That’s right, it’s John Ford!

Now, I know what you’re thinking – how can I ever look as dashing as that man?  But here’s a shocker for you: he never had any formal fashion training. That’s right: he never studied! And even more shocking: he was never recognized during his lifetime for his fashion sense. Believe it or not, he won four Oscars, and not a single “best dressed” award.

But you’re in for a real treat, because while he may not have gotten the attention he deserved for his fashion sense back then, he’s being celebrated for it today. The good people behind Nerd Boyfriend have gone to the trouble of helping you recreate the authentic John Ford look with a comparable sweater, scarf, belt and a pair of pants to match those chosen by the master. (You’ll have to get your own matching hat, eyepatch, and coke-bottle glasses.)

I’m sure you’d be willing to pay at least $10,000 for that ensemble, but these inveterate bargain hunters have scoured the inter-tubes to get you into this look for far less:

• Plain V-neck sweater? $245.
• Nondescript khaki pants? $345 $84. Sale!
• Ugly scart? $147.
• Belt you can’t really see? $46.

That’s an entire look – and a look put together by a senile, nearly blind old man at that – for a mere $783 $522!

So get to shopping people!